The Ugly Truth

3 weeks had passed. And yet till now only have I uncovered the ugly truth. Life may seem unfair, but reality just sucks. Although I am aware of it, but its not something that can be dealt with easily. I personally find it extremely hard to even not think about her. My mind's always filled with memories of her. There's practically nothing I can do to really get her out of my mind. Sometimes, just for the sake of comforting myself, I'll think that 'as long as she's happy, I'm already satisfied'. Is that really possible? My friends would say, 'you're an idiot!'. Well, probably I am since I fell in love with her. Love, can we really describe it? Not much I can say about it. But one thing I know for sure, that my feelings were true. Too long have I waited for her. Too much have I wasted/sacrificed on her. And yet, too unfair have I been treated. Some adviced me, 'she's not worth it, there's plenty of fish in the sea, why give up all other fish just for her?'. 'She's not worth it', every friend I approached, gave me the same comment. Well, is she really not that worth it? Somehow I just can't seem to accept the truth just yet. Part of me decided to keep waiting, believing someday that she'll be touched by how much I'm willing to do for her. Part of me just feel like ignoring everything, treat it as though nothing had happened. The truth is, nothing had happened. Its just me, couldn't accept the fact that she's with another guy, just like old times. Well, some asked me, 'how did I get through it last time?'. I couldn't answer. Should I just wait on, just like what I did since 5 years ago? Or should I really make an effort to forget her? Or should I just assume that she's still single and continue courting her?

Day 17.

Its been more than 2 weeks since I last met you. Yet image of you remains in my mind all these while. I can't help but thinking about you day and night, every minute of everyday. Though I'm being ignored at the moment, but I believe there will be a day when you stop ignoring me. I'm trying my best to reach to you. After many attempts, I only succeeded once. Which was the day that we met. When I saw you, I'm overjoyed till I'm speechless. I know it sounds stupid, but its a fact. What I wanted to say all these while, I just couldn't bring myself to say it any more. After a while, I've forgotten it. Well, hopefully you'll join me in the trip I invited you. God please help me too.